As I write this, I am laying in bed. Not an unusual place to find me at just after midnight, but what is unusual is that I’m finding it difficult to get to sleep. Over the past couple of months I have been exhausted by 9pm and could often be found snoozing in my chair while my wife and I watch tv. “Old Papa Brown” Hollie calls me, whenever I fall asleep. My Hb (red blood cell count) has been through the floor lately, at around the 5.4 mark (‘normal’ is 13-18), which I’m told should make me feel completely void of any energy. But I don’t think that’s the reason for my sleepiness, I put it down to having two little boys and those wretched Breakfast shifts!
Tonight’s insomnia could have something to do with the little person laying immediately to my left. My youngest son, Freddie, woke up with a scream and Hollie has brought him in for cuddles. I should really take him back through to his own bed, but he looks just a bit too comfortable and adorable for now.
Another reason I can’t sleep could be down to the fact that the imminent dialysis is probably playing on my mind a bit. As I’ve said previously, it doesn’t quite seem real at the moment, and more than likely won’t until I’m hooked up and watching the minutes tick down, or up – I can’t remember which way the display goes on the machines. I haven’t been given any instructions or Do’s and Dont’s by the renal team – apart from yet another blood test today – and so nothing has changed. But I’m sure the long list of rules to abide by will come.
I’ve managed to get this week off work thanks to some shift switching and very generous colleagues. With my first dialysis a mere 48 hours away, I plan to spend some time doing nothing in particular with my beautiful wife and two lovely boys. And getting up at 4:45am to direct the Breakfast news on Tuesday morning just doesn’t fit in with that schedule (thanks, AJ).
Right sod this, where’s that free sachet of Horlick’s gone…